A little bit about the best cuss words: #Cunt, #Cocksucker, and #Motherfucker

First a little bit about my affection for cursing. My favorite word is cunt. I love cunt. I love saying it, smelling it, licking it, and screaming it. It goes well with other words, like dirty cunt, dumb cunt, fucking cunt, fucknuckle cunt, lazy cunt (like me). See? Cunt. Try it today. Oh, I forgot a kiey one, North American cunt, cause we cunts don’t like to say cunt unless they really mean it in a nasty, dirty way. You’re a fucking cunt is often heard before gun violence in NYC. In Korea, it’s heard more before clinking glasses. You’re all cunts, every last fucking one of you, and I fucking love you – clink!

Cocksucker is a good one. I notice my gay friends say this as much or even more than I say it. Cocksucker! They yell it to themselves. You have Yay! for something done well, and Cocksucker! for committing an error. I usually call myself a cocksucker. I had to ask a gay bartender who was working for me, do you mind when I call myself a cocksucker? He said, I never thought about it before but you do mean it negatively I guess but no. Say it freely. So I still call myself a cocksucker. I am a cocksucker.

Then there’s the mother of all cuss words, my very first love, the word that tarnished my sweet, red, virgin lips: motherfucker. That was the first one that rolled off my tongue like gunfire and chili. You motherfucker, mothafucka, muhfucka. Now matter the spelling, intonation, pronunciation. Whether said with a laid back California accent, a well enunciated Irish lilt, a Kiwi twang, or a New York staccato, the word, the meaning, the intent is beautiful. You mothafucka. I’ll always love this word. It was my first curse. It was like the first time I felt boobs and around the same age. It was a pretty girl who took me to a little park and kissed me and kept saying it. She passed it to me. It was my ticket out of my small-minded pre-pubescence and into a world of tits, drugs, and mothafucking curses. It was the motherfucking moment I became me. And I’ll always cherish you, motherfucker.

 

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