Michael Martine (aka Bryce Calderwood) answers a few off the cuff questions from MJ on FB messenger before April 2 Takeover Event.
MJ is this one
Bryce is this big purple one (not double entendre, I swear)
wine or whiskey?
I don’t drink
shaved or hairy as a tropical rainforest?
ever gone a year without paying taxes?
Yes, it’s called “not making any money.”
I know that not making money loophole. We’re tricky fuckers!
So, have you ever broken someone’s heart why?
I may have broken a couple hearts, but as to why I will keep to myself.
did you ever lose a tooth during a blowjob? or was there any other sex related injury?
Who broke your heart and why?
japanese or korean?
Nobody ever tried to punch me while I was getting my dick sucked, however the first time I ever had sex I got terrible rug burn on my knees and also discovered the fun way I was allergic to something in that condom.
I had a wild child girlfriend many years ago who broke my heart. Why? Nobody had better drugs than the dealer.
Japanese mostly but I’m coming around to Korean.
white or asian?
futa or giantess?
ass or mouth?
ass to mouth?
ass to pussy?
virgin or slut?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
LOL. That was easy. What do you wear when you write? (if I ask the women I have to ask the men too). Do you sit on a dildo chair while writing?
I wear clothes, the fuck is wrong with you.
That’s a different interview!
Ha! Dildo chair would be amusing, but alas, no.
…one that perhaps should be staged. Perhaps you interview me on my day? Eh eh eh? dildo swiss ball? dildo japanese blow up doll slash chair? paper or computer?
Pass. A fleshlight on a robot arm would be cool, though.
what’s your favorite word?
what language sounds sexiest to you?
Correctly spoken English because if I can’t understand it, it’s not sexy.
self-edit or paid editor?
self-covers or paid cover maker?
self-pleasure or paid pleasure giver?
Thank you for answering. I’m sure people downloading our books will want to know this shit.
Hiraeth, which means homesickness, but more specifically for a place you’ve never been to or that doesn’t exist.
Self-edited, and it shows.
Self-covers but I have years of design experience.
I don’t have the money to buy pleasure.
Your covers are incredibly crisp. You don’t have any degradation when changing sizes and stuff. Since I built the page I see that stuff closely.
not even a tub of ice cream?
Buy my books so I can afford a good soap girl.
that’s a great tagline.
Hey, I don’t need to buy pleasure for you to buy your books. I’m a fan.
Knowing that’s where my 33 cents is going is just a bonus
[[somebody inserted a GIF with a young Jack Nicholson acting cute and saying “Awwww Shucks!”]]
Okay, here are a few final questions from my readers…
Abdul from the Bronx wants to know “is body lotion a must after showering?”
Moisturizing is what separates us from the animals. Never forget that.
Brie from Albuquerque asks, “Have you ever gotten a review so good you got hard while reading it?”
I do get big raging “heart-ons” from good reviews.
and finally my wife wants to know, “why I can’t be more like you, huh?”
It’s the beard.
You should see my pubes. Nearly IDENTICAL.
Five minutes, my ass. Thanks for participating. You’re a good sport dealing with my dumb ass questions
Was fun, thanks
Get back to writing! Soap gurls don’t buy themselves.
That causes a rift in the space-sex continuum.